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Eppak, Aku Menyayangimu dalam Diam

Eppak, Aku Menyayangimu dalam Diam

 

Rofika

SDN Kemirian 1 Kecamatan Tamanan

 

Eppak adalah ayahku. Ayah yang ku kenal akrab setelah aku dewasa, tepatnya setelah aku menikah. Eppak dan ibuku bercerai ketika aku masih teramat kecil. Perceraian itu membuat jarak antara Eppak dan anak-anaknya. Aku hanya tahu Eppak pergi meninggalkan ibuku dan tak pernah lagi ingat padaku. Tapi setelah dewasa aku mengerti bahwa sebenarnya itu hanyalah doktrin yang sengaja ditanamkan kuat-kuat di setiap kabel-kabel memoriku. Doktrin yang mencerminkan keegoisan. Entah untuk tujuan apa.

Eppak adalah sosok tinggi besar berkulit hitam. Konon, Eppak memiliki kesaktian, sehingga membuatnya disegani oleh orang-orang yang mengenalnya. Dia selalu berada di garda terdepan ketika di kampung ada pencurian. Menguber maling sampai ke tempat-tempat sepi. Tanpa kenal takut. Tak jarang duel terjadi antara Eppak dan para pencuri itu. Dan Eppak selalu menjadi pemenangnya. Tapi Eppak tak pernah menghakimi pencuri-pencuri itu. Eppak hanya mengingatkan dan sedikit mengancam agar mereka jangan lagi membuat kerusuhan di kampungnya. Itu sepenggal kisah yang ku dengar dari orang terdekat Eppak.

Namun, dibalik jiwa jawaranya Eppak memiliki kelembutan. Kelembutan yang bisa kurasakan hanya beberapa tahun. Dalam kebersamaan yang hanya sekejab. Di akhir perjalanan hidupnya aku bersyukur masih bisa menemaninya. Melihatnya terbaring lemah akibat penyakit yang menyerangnya. Menyaksikan kesakitannya yang teramat sangat hingga sampai meronta-ronta. Merasakan tatapannya yang menyampaikan sejuta makna. Memandangi raut mukanya yang menorehkan kasih sayang yang sempat terhalang. Saat itu, darahku yang berasal dari Eppak benar-benar memancarkan gelombang yang melemahkan jarak yang selama ini terbentang.

Saat ini jarak itu benar-benar nyata. Eppak telah pergi meninggalkan dunia fana. Menuju keabadian. Kepergiannya menorehkan luka yang hingga saat ini masih terasa perihnya. Menyisakan penyesalan panjang yang seringkali memaksa airmataku mengalir tanpa terasa. Menghadirkan kerinduan yang tiba-tiba datang menyesakkan dada. Dalam beberapa kesempatan, Eppak hadir dalam dimensi dunia lain, menghiasi mimpi-mimpiku. Menggandeng tanganku menyusuri imajinasi tanpa batas yang melenakan jiwaku. Aku seolah menjadi bocah manja yang selalu berlari menuju dekapan hangat tangan-tangan kekar Eppak. Bocah yang merasa nyaman dalam panggulan bahu Eppak yang kokoh. Kami bercengkerama dalam hamparan rumput hijau penuh bunga-bunga manis yang menggoda. Aku bahagia. Bahagia yang paripurna.  Meski setelah itu tangis pun pecah menghantam ulu hatiku ketika menyadari bahwa Eppak hanya baying-bayang semu.

Eppak, mohonlah pada Dia yang bersemayam dalam arsy-Nya, agar mempertemukanku denganmu. Mengumpulkanku denganmu dalam telaga birunya yang berhias permata yakut dan marjan. Eppak, aku pun akan selalu meminta dengan suara lirihku pada-Nya agar Dia mentakdirkan perjumpaanku denganmu, dalam lengkung bianglala yang mempesona. Eppak aku merindukanmu dan dalam diamku aku selalu menyayangimu. Allaahummaghfirlahu

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  67. One more issue is that video games are usually serious as the name indicated with the principal focus on understanding rather than leisure. Although, there’s an entertainment part to keep your kids engaged, every game will likely be designed to work on a specific group of skills or programs, such as mathmatical or science. Thanks for your publication.

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  71. I do believe that a home foreclosure can have a major effect on the client’s life. Foreclosures can have a 8 to 10 years negative effects on a applicant’s credit report. The borrower that has applied for home financing or any kind of loans even, knows that the particular worse credit rating is actually, the more tricky it is for any decent personal loan. In addition, it can affect a borrower’s ability to find a quality place to let or rent, if that turns into the alternative property solution. Thanks for your blog post.

  72. It is indeed my belief that mesothelioma will be the most fatal cancer. It contains unusual traits. The more I actually look at it the greater I am confident it does not conduct itself like a true solid human cancer. In case mesothelioma is actually a rogue virus-like infection, therefore there is the potential for developing a vaccine in addition to offering vaccination for asbestos subjected people who are vulnerable to high risk regarding developing upcoming asbestos related malignancies. Thanks for revealing your ideas about this important ailment.

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  75. Thanks for the suggestions about credit repair on this particular web-site. What I would advice people will be to give up the particular mentality that they may buy at this moment and fork out later. Being a society we tend to do that for many things. This includes vacation trips, furniture, as well as items we want. However, it is advisable to separate one’s wants out of the needs. As long as you’re working to fix your credit score actually you need some trade-offs. For example you may shop online to save cash or you can look at second hand outlets instead of costly department stores to get clothing.

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  117. Thanks for expressing your ideas here. The other matter is that every time a problem takes place with a computer system motherboard, people today should not consider the risk associated with repairing it themselves for if it is not done correctly it can lead to irreparable damage to the complete laptop. It will always be safe just to approach any dealer of a laptop for your repair of the motherboard. They have technicians who definitely have an competence in dealing with notebook motherboard troubles and can get the right prognosis and conduct repairs.

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